I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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