tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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