i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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