It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
