I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
NoShamevember. You game?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
