I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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