So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
