Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
We had to coat check the pizza.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
