I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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