when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Drake has all the answers
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
