We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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