i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
