So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
sarcasm needs its own font
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
