My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
