can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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