Its about making memories worth repressing
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
