Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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