I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
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It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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