Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
