I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
