Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
