How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
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I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
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just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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