I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
