Nicole vs. Life
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
