glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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