..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
