i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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