I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
