Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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