I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
