Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i've created a new STD.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize