did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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