he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
