I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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