So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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