But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
