I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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