CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
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After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
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You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno