fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
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I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
That's what I'm talking about
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?