are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick