May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina