If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude