I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
