there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
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Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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