Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
