I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
You're like the curious george of whores
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
