My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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