He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
