I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
