He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
