Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
