At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
