it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
