I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
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His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
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This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.