Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Are we still banned from the library?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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