So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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