She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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