paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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