i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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