So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
