dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize