nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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